Don't call it a book club.

Hot Takes; Dumb Nerds

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Fantasy George R.R. Martin Brandon Sanderson Sci-Fi The Kingkiller Chronicle A Clash of Kings Touch of Iron Aching God A Game of Thrones Patrick Rothfuss Mike Shel Timandra Whitecastle Three Body Problem Vernor Vinge Elantris N.K. Jemisin Hyperion Interview The Crimson Queen Liu Cixin Lies of Locke Lamora The Fifth Season Dan Simmons A Fire Upon the Deep Warbreaker Alec Hutson Scott Lynch The Emperor's Soul Introduction Mailbag

Touch of Iron: Timandra Whitecastle Interview

In the words of a wise author, "Garbage in, garbage out but I say if you put good stuff in, you get good stuff out." Well on this episode, Timandra Whitecastle somehow manages to take garbage in and send good stuff out! We talk about the fine art of whittling, cursing in fantasy, and a story you may have heard of about a certain special boy with a lightning shaped scar. Timandra also helps us name a few magical artifacts and lays down the law on some tough disputes. Follow her on twitter, @TimWhitecastle, and sign up for her email list at https://timandrawhitecastle.com/. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Fantasy Timandra Whitecastle Touch of Iron Interview

Touch of Iron: Part Two

Find out which dragon book man the boys get too excited about for the warm up (8:58). Luke hijacks Dan's theory about Diaz and charts a course for a forbidden (but familiar) shore. Luke gets disqualified from taking the pilgrim oath and gives some horrific wartime advice. Dan makes it out of this episode looking pretty good in comparison. Nice. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Fantasy Timandra Whitecastle Touch of Iron

Warbreaker: Part Two

Luke is lookin fresh and no man is gonna stop him (07:30). Your favorite fantasy fellows propose several crucial innovations for T'Telir. Dan, known to some as fantasy Sherlock, pieces together a brilliant prediction about the Returned. Also, if you thought we were done talking about what the Returned would eat you must be on your second episode ever. Welcome. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Warbreaker Fantasy Brandon Sanderson

The Crimson Queen Part Three + Author Interview

The boys are back at it again. In a very anti-Immortal episode Luke roasts Demian, and Dan comes down very hard on Jan (again). We wrap up our discussion of The Crimson Queen by revealing the consequences of climate engineering. Wondering why this episode is twice as long? Alec Hutson, author of The Crimson Queen, tells us the secret to coming up with cool titles and answers many of our well thought out questions. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Fantasy Alec Hutson The Crimson Queen Interview

The Crimson Queen Part Two: Chapters 13 - 26

Dan gets a little Marxist early on and comes down a little harsh on Jan. Luke's ridiculous "bird fireworks" comment from last episode is somehow vindicated. We also ponder the important questions. Thanks to VOLO for the intro/outro music.

Fantasy Alec Hutson The Crimson Queen

The Crimson Queen Part One: Chapters 1 - 12

It's a Thanksgiving miracle! Luke and Dan are back at it again: Luke planning a culture change seminar for Keilan's village, Dan convincing Luke sorcery is fantastic for one very specific reason. Also Luke makes a bold prediction involving Godzilla.

Fantasy Alec Hutson The Crimson Queen

The Name of the Wind Part Four: Chapters 72 - End

Dan ruins Christmas then brings up new evidence for his Ben-Denna theory. Luke points out that Kvothe probably wears a fedora, and we talk about our ratings for the Name of the Wind before announcing our next book.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Kingkiller Chronicle Fantasy Patrick Rothfuss

The Name of the Wind Part Three: Chapters 47-71

Luke and Dan talk about voting just in time to miss the election, then jump into the third section of The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. We roast Kvothe and Denna for about half the episode, then Dan comes up with arguably his best theory to date. Special thanks to VOLO for intro and outro music.

The Kingkiller Chronicle Fantasy Patrick Rothfuss

The Name of the Wind Part Two: Chapters 18-46

Luke and Dan throw a little shade on a Halloween tradition and attempt to answer the age old question: what is money? You won't believe which character is actually a certified sneaker head! Listen to find out! (Tryna go viral guys) Special thanks to VOLO for intro and outro music.

The Kingkiller Chronicle Fantasy Patrick Rothfuss

The Name of the Wind Part One: Chapters 1-17

In our first Kingkiller Chronicles episode we have a long conversation about Dungeons and Dragons before getting into the book. Dan calls Abenthy the Arcanist a dick and Luke gets scared by a Chandrian with bad hair. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Kingkiller Chronicle Fantasy Patrick Rothfuss

The Emperor's Soul

Dan complains about the lack of alien representation in Star Wars, then we discuss Brandon Sanderson's novella The Emperor's Soul. We have a spirited debate over the ethics of master painters and break ground on the invention of toilets. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Elantris Fantasy Brandon Sanderson The Emperor's Soul

Game of Thrones Part Four: Chapters 61 - End

Luke flip flops on his previous hot take about the T.V. show being better than this incredible book and introduces a new hot take about Catelyn chapters. Dan makes a brilliant Risk analogy and masterfully ties a bow on the #FlatWesteros and #WarriorTyrion theories. Also while Luke is stuffin his face with pizza pies in Italy, Dan works tirelessly to ensure their podcast gets out to their loyal fans. This one's for you. Music, with thanks, from VOLO.

Fantasy A Game of Thrones George R.R. Martin

Game of Thrones Part Three: Chapters 41 - 60

LeBron, excited to start this new collab. Get at us. We reveal the embarrassing truth Tywin Lannister doesn't want you to know, and try not to dunk too hard on Ned Stark. Thanks to VOLO for our intro and outro music.

Fantasy A Game of Thrones George R.R. Martin

Game of Thrones Part Two: Chapters 21 - 40

We discuss chapters 21 - 40 of A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin. Dan unveils a conspiracy theory about Tyrion, we further develop our flat Westeros theory, and we both complain about intramural sports. Thanks to VOLO for our intro and outro music.

Fantasy A Game of Thrones George R.R. Martin

Game of Thrones Part One: Chapters 1 - 20

We discuss the first 20 chapters of A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin. We unveil our flat Westeros theory, and Luke makes a hot take about Lord of the Rings. Think you can prove him wrong? Tweet us at @DCitaBC with your argument. Thanks again to VOLO for our intro and outro music.

Fantasy A Game of Thrones George R.R. Martin

Elantris Part Two: Chapter 57 - End

Elantris part 2 - we discuss the last section of Elantris from chapter 57 onward. Dan brings up a new theory, and Luke complains about hardcover books. Thanks to VOLO for the use of Mystic as our intro and outro music.

Elantris Fantasy Brandon Sanderson

Elantris Part One: Chapters 1 - 56

Welcome to Don't Call it a Book Club! In our first episode Luke makes a hot take about Game of Thrones and we break down the first 56 chapters of Elantris by Brandon Sanderson. Topics include Elantrian fight clubs, the magic system of Elantris, and several rants by Dan.

Thanks to VOLO for the use of Mystic as our intro and outro music.

Elantris Fantasy Brandon Sanderson