Don't call it a book club.

Travis from The Fantasy Inn Podcast joins us to finish our discussion on The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water. Check out Part 1 on their website! The story is short so you know we've got time to speculate. What's your role in a bandit group and is getting teleportation powers worth the effort?

Thanks again to Travis for joining us, make sure to keep up with his podcast and follow @TheFantasyInn and @tctippens to hear what they're up to.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

To get warmed up today Dan goes on a rollercoaster of emotions with his perspective on gift cards (skip to 8:45 for book discussion). As we finish up the Sword of Kaigen we're again diving deep into the macroeconomics and incentives of the communities in a book. If you've got a moment please spare a prayer for THE WIND CHILD, she's gonna have it rough.

Stay tuned to our social media channels to get access to our poems for next week which we will release on Tuesday.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Can you guess who Luke and Dan are going to be dunking on for most of this episode? Probably because he is an absolute monster. The boys speculate about the amazing non-combat uses of water magic, specifically the cuisine. Be warned, there is a little bit of toilet humor in this episode but I promise it is totally warranted.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Dan doesn't understand the concept of a warm up so don't skip the intro on this one . Luke has a fool proof method of winning one of these duels and it's all about climate control folks. Dan asks the age old question; why are we using swords? And yes we do have an answer... sort of.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

How much you wanna make a bet Luke could throw a football over them mountains? (4:05 to skip the Napoleon Dynamite fan segment) Dan is still not convinced about the goodness or badness of these brothers and Luke needs to be on the committee designing this wall. We also desperately need an answer as to why Dan's solution has not gained more popularity in this world. Seems pretty obvious y'all.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Orholam sent a message via recording issues that a warm up will not be welcome in this episode so we jump straight into the book. A certain clothing based prank gives us some more fuel for our good brother/bad brother debate and honestly it's not looking good. We love to see the inclusion of some TLC in this section, no not the singers, I'm talking the chromatography. Also let us know your thoughts on King Garadul, are you defecting with us?

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Luke starts us off with some serious introvert energy (7:00 to skip this karaoke rant). Luke and Dan already have a few suggestions for how to improve this prison. It may involve Eiffel 65. Dan learns about a new fitness contraption and Luke gives a glowing endorsement of King Garadul. Just kidding, this guy is terrible. Also who is signing up for extra credit at the Chromeria!?

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Dan brings back a beloved segment, find out the connection between business suits and water parks (or skip to 8:30). Luke is a huge fan of alley-oops in fights as well as well timed winks while Dan can't believe Corin's final exam score and is more convinced than ever of Sera's guilt. Finally, we get to our reviews and announce that we will be reading The Black Prism by Brent Weeks next!

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

You are the top first year enchanter at the Lorian Heights Academy. You have studied hard to get to the top and had to sacrifice to keep up your grades but the reward is well worth it. After acing your finals you take a well deserved break and spend an hour relaxing with a cup of tea in the cafeteria. You can't help but overhear some gossip about Corin Cadence, the idiot who almost blew off his hand with a homemade enchanted item. Your grip tightens around your tea cup as you hear story after story of him cheating his way through every single course this year and still maintaining top marks. How quickly are you walking to the Dean's office to lodge a formal complaint?

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Tons of questions this week about the curriculum in our schools, We're starting to get concerned that the bow and arrow lobby has too much power. Dan is turning in his spider accusation a little bit early, we feel good about getting some points towards graduation for that. Speaking of which, can we give our squad a pass for the year? Seems like they've earned it.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Luke and Dan start by addressing some comments from /r/climberscourt. Also, Luke mentions Patrick is a Shaper which is definitely wrong (he is an Elementalist, bruh) and you should definitely point it out to him in some way this week. Once again the boys criticize the teaching styles of the professors in the academy. The MVP and Rookie of the Year are announced and Luke needs an User's Manual for some of these freaking items.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Thanks to everyone sending us your thoughts on the last episode, keep 'em coming by commenting on our reddit posts on the r/dontcallitabookclub or r/ClimbersCourt subreddits, tweeting us @DCitaBC, or checking out our facebook page. Dan is excited that we're giving enchanters some credit, but Luke pumps the brakes on becoming superfans. You've heard it before and you'll hear it again, give us some real magic sports!

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro magic.

Dan needs to know why Harry Potter never got Lasik (skip to 6:12 if you don't). Luke and Dan want a class revolution in Valia. They also start learning about our boy Corin, and he is either right where he needs to be and crushing it, or about to completely lose everything he wants and get kicked out of school for being an idiot. Gotta be one of those two or nothing. Finally, lets say Spider Division is real. You in?

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

In the words of a wise author, "Garbage in, garbage out but I say if you put good stuff in, you get good stuff out." Well on this episode, Timandra Whitecastle somehow manages to take garbage in and send good stuff out! We talk about the fine art of whittling, cursing in fantasy, and a story you may have heard of about a certain special boy with a lightning shaped scar. Timandra also helps us name a few magical artifacts and lays down the law on some tough disputes. Follow her on twitter, @TimWhitecastle, and sign up for her email list at https://timandrawhitecastle.com/. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Find out which dragon book man the boys get too excited about for the warm up (8:58). Luke hijacks Dan's theory about Diaz and charts a course for a forbidden (but familiar) shore. Luke gets disqualified from taking the pilgrim oath and gives some horrific wartime advice. Dan makes it out of this episode looking pretty good in comparison. Nice. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Luke is lookin fresh and no man is gonna stop him (07:30). Your favorite fantasy fellows propose several crucial innovations for T'Telir. Dan, known to some as fantasy Sherlock, pieces together a brilliant prediction about the Returned. Also, if you thought we were done talking about what the Returned would eat you must be on your second episode ever. Welcome. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The boys are back at it again. In a very anti-Immortal episode Luke roasts Demian, and Dan comes down very hard on Jan (again). We wrap up our discussion of The Crimson Queen by revealing the consequences of climate engineering. Wondering why this episode is twice as long? Alec Hutson, author of The Crimson Queen, tells us the secret to coming up with cool titles and answers many of our well thought out questions. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Dan gets a little Marxist early on and comes down a little harsh on Jan. Luke's ridiculous "bird fireworks" comment from last episode is somehow vindicated. We also ponder the important questions. Thanks to VOLO for the intro/outro music.

It's a Thanksgiving miracle! Luke and Dan are back at it again: Luke planning a culture change seminar for Keilan's village, Dan convincing Luke sorcery is fantastic for one very specific reason. Also Luke makes a bold prediction involving Godzilla.

Dan ruins Christmas then brings up new evidence for his Ben-Denna theory. Luke points out that Kvothe probably wears a fedora, and we talk about our ratings for the Name of the Wind before announcing our next book.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Luke and Dan talk about voting just in time to miss the election, then jump into the third section of The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. We roast Kvothe and Denna for about half the episode, then Dan comes up with arguably his best theory to date. Special thanks to VOLO for intro and outro music.

Luke and Dan throw a little shade on a Halloween tradition and attempt to answer the age old question: what is money? You won't believe which character is actually a certified sneaker head! Listen to find out! (Tryna go viral guys) Special thanks to VOLO for intro and outro music.

In our first Kingkiller Chronicles episode we have a long conversation about Dungeons and Dragons before getting into the book. Dan calls Abenthy the Arcanist a dick and Luke gets scared by a Chandrian with bad hair. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Dan complains about the lack of alien representation in Star Wars, then we discuss Brandon Sanderson's novella The Emperor's Soul. We have a spirited debate over the ethics of master painters and break ground on the invention of toilets. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Luke flip flops on his previous hot take about the T.V. show being better than this incredible book and introduces a new hot take about Catelyn chapters. Dan makes a brilliant Risk analogy and masterfully ties a bow on the #FlatWesteros and #WarriorTyrion theories. Also while Luke is stuffin his face with pizza pies in Italy, Dan works tirelessly to ensure their podcast gets out to their loyal fans. This one's for you. Music, with thanks, from VOLO.

LeBron, excited to start this new collab. Get at us. We reveal the embarrassing truth Tywin Lannister doesn't want you to know, and try not to dunk too hard on Ned Stark. Thanks to VOLO for our intro and outro music.

We discuss chapters 21 - 40 of A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin. Dan unveils a conspiracy theory about Tyrion, we further develop our flat Westeros theory, and we both complain about intramural sports. Thanks to VOLO for our intro and outro music.

We discuss the first 20 chapters of A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin. We unveil our flat Westeros theory, and Luke makes a hot take about Lord of the Rings. Think you can prove him wrong? Tweet us at @DCitaBC with your argument. Thanks again to VOLO for our intro and outro music.

Elantris part 2 - we discuss the last section of Elantris from chapter 57 onward. Dan brings up a new theory, and Luke complains about hardcover books. Thanks to VOLO for the use of Mystic as our intro and outro music.

Welcome to Don't Call it a Book Club! In our first episode Luke makes a hot take about Game of Thrones and we break down the first 56 chapters of Elantris by Brandon Sanderson. Topics include Elantrian fight clubs, the magic system of Elantris, and several rants by Dan.

Thanks to VOLO for the use of Mystic as our intro and outro music.