Don't call it a book club.

Dan jumps into a warmup (10:20 to skip). The boys get called out for their love of maps and Severard gets called out for not keeping a diary. How long do you have on your personal doomsday clock for this world?

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Luke drinks whiskey at a bachelor party and wants to talk about it (12:00 to skip). The Bloody Nine is finally starting to scare us (but we still love him obvi). Also everything is Sult's fault.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The boys get back to holiday talk to warm up (12:46 to skip). Jezel is officially the king of idiots. The Northmen clearly need to start playing Dungeons and Dragons and Luke and Dan leave a bad review for this mountain fortress.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Any First Law conversation is amiss without some good Glokta analysis, buddy you know there are other jobs, right? Big shoutout to Joe for explaining the Shanka's eating habits, but now we gotta dig deeper to figure out where my microbes at. Colonel West has some strange preferences, and building a boat at the end of the world seems too easy.

Next week we're starting Seveneves by Neal Stephenson!

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Y'all have heard of snow mirages right? Huge problem up in north Angland, trust us. Luke and Dan can't decide if Glokta has done a good job or a bad job, but Dan is still team Glokta and hoping that isn't going to come back to bite him. Luke provides great analysis about Jezal and Dan decides to hate him anyway. Lastly, the boys ponder the dietary requirements of Shanka.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Very long but important intro, learn something about dogs in this one guys (skip to 16:15 to get to the book). Forgive us if we forget or repeat things from the first book, but y'all, how great is Glokta?! And also maybe Prince Ladisla is good? Finally, shoutout to Euz for being the worst father of all time.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Our one year Anniversary is here! And Dan would like to celebrate it by rescinding his terrible hot take (3:17). We could not wait to talk about the Bloody Nine so hear us gush about a great fight scene very early on in the episode. Although somehow I think we gushed about Bremer dan Gorst even more. And make sure you let us know your thoughts on the debate over who is a better road trip partner: Jezal or Ferro. Tweet us @DCitaBC.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Dan decides to start this episode with a very hot take about scooters. I don't know why. Yeah, you can skip it and tell him how dumb it was (ends at 9:40). Glokta is a popular character but he deserves some criticism, right? Tell us if you think our criticism of him is deserved. We also diagnose why Ardee has no friends, and Dan gives us another just great theory.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

We are back! If you've been frustrated that we don't talk about book news enough we brought in some experts. Rhonda and Erin from Pop DNA talk to us about the controversy around Guidebook for Mortals... er, Playbook to Mortals... whatever it's called (21:10). After that we get back to our bread and butter: talking trash about characters like Jezal, Lord Marshal Varuz,... even Ninefingers?!? This is another episode where you'll have to pick a side in a contentious debate. We're talking library designs: multiple towers or ranch style? Tweet us your thoughts @DCitaBC.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.