Don't call it a book club.

Alright keeping it a buck here, no one will blame you for skipping the intro this week (6:27). Luke and Dan rethink their ranking of the warriors from the Lot Lands and get into some serious statistics. Dan pushes back against Luke's criticism of Tine leadership and Luke decides we have a hot new reality show on our hands. Luke and Dan have a few parenting tips and of course Dan comes up with a few wild theories.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro.

Today's warmup focuses on our complacency in menu innovation (skip to 7:30 if you'll hear no criticisms of fast food). Big apologies to Fetch and Oats are due, turns out they did get pretty creative with fundraising. No one is asking but we've got some constructive criticism for the Pits of Homage and have developed a pretty good ranking system for our lot landers.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Things are ROUGH for these half-orcs y'all so it's a good thing they are all optimistic and encouraging! Dan thinks we need some new priorities in Winsome, while Luke proves to be a much more discerning reader than Dan. Who is this skinny turd boy and why is he the key to everything? Lastly, for a brief moment in your day, picture milking a horse. Ha I tricked you; now you can't stop thinking about milking a horse.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Honestly, one of the most legitimately informative episodes we have ever recorded thanks to Jonathan French. Want to know how the Sludgeman travels around the Lots? Need an answer for your theory about Jackal's lineage? Do you want to stop being eaten alive by mosquitoes every summer? These questions and more finally answered! We talk goth hobbits, ax throwing, and orc chili. Also, fuck you Cloudy; you know what you did. Follow @JFrenchAuthor on Twitter for some prime cuts and The Lot Lands news!

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Just in time for Halloween, Dan and Luke hit you with some of the best/worst fantasy couples costumes. Hit us up @DCitaBC with your entry in the #fantasycouplescontest. Or skip right to the hawg talk (13:22). First things first, there have got to be ugly elves, right? There has GOT to be an Ugfuck elf equivalent, right? Also, don't believe the orc *clap* prop *clap* a *clap* gan *clap* da. Luke and Dan create a few new achievement award categories for hoofs to try out. Slophead of the Year? Most Valuable Hawg?

We are interviewing Jonathan French but that episode will come out in two weeks, not next week. After that we will be returning Alec Hutson's The Raveling series with The Silver Sorceress!

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Bastards have a wild government. As well respected fantasy constitutional scholars we've got your questions covered with in depth analysis. Also interested in civil engineering? Dan uses his wall building expertise to call out the Orc propaganda. And if you're looking to pad that slophead resume a little get yourself an internship at that axe throwing place down the street. You know that place that looks kinda fun but never worth the money? Go check it out.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Your favorite podcasting frails get right into the mud with some of these dirty hogs. Luke and Dan have already fallen head over heels for Ugfuck. Don't believe the lies; orcs float. Also, we can all agree the half-orcs are over complicating things. Keep it simple, slophead! Finally, the boys congratulate Jackal on his sweet new career opportunity.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.