Don't call it a book club.

Hot Takes; Dumb Nerds

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Fantasy George R.R. Martin The Kingkiller Chronicle A Clash of Kings A Game of Thrones Patrick Rothfuss Alec Hutson Brandon Sanderson Vernor Vinge Elantris Hyperion The Crimson Queen Dan Simmons A Fire Upon the Deep Sci-Fi Scott Lynch Lies of Locke Lamora The Emperor's Soul Introduction Mailbag

The Lies of Locke Lamora: Part Two

No intro segment for this episode, we start already warmed up to cover the first 10 chapters of the Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch. Dan spends a while raving about how good this book is and Luke calls out the Grey King for cheating. If you're worried that the first half is too serious, don't worry we get real deep into the unimportant details towards the end.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Lies of Locke Lamora Scott Lynch

The Lies of Locke Lamora: Part One

Tune in to this episode to hear Dan's very controversial opinions on lobotomy, but first listen to Luke give some advice on healthy living. Oh and in case you're not sure what the final conflict will be we've got you covered with some pretty solid predictions.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Lies of Locke Lamora Scott Lynch

A Fire Upon the Deep: Part Three

Remember The Colony show from 2009? Well Dan does...Ya boys develop a theory live in episode. We also get into some dubious astrophysics, but who's going to call us out for it? Seriously someone should probably get @ us (@DCitaBC). Special thanks to VOLO for the intro/outro music.

A Fire Upon the Deep Vernor Vinge

A Fire Upon the Deep: Part Two

No warm-up this time, just those clean, 100% pure, pristine book nuggets. Speaking of dank nugs, this week we once again return to talking about space dogs smoking that sticky icky. Dan posts up a couple of deep three pointer theories and for no reason whatsoever Luke brings Cuba into this mess.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

A Fire Upon the Deep Vernor Vinge

A Fire Upon the Deep: Part One

Luke and Dan rile each other up over audiobooks, then start the first episode on the Fire Upon the Deep by Vernor Vinge. Both of us spend a good amount of time discussing the intricacies of the dog pack society of the Tines (dog packs using bows and arrows, whaaat?), then get really excited about a character's name.

It's Pham... his name is Pham.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

A Fire Upon the Deep Vernor Vinge

A Clash of Kings: Part Four

Your two favorite podcast hosts finally make their pitch to transition to Hollywood with the new Eragon Trailer. Dan is crowned the king of theories, and Luke give Lollys some (completely justified) sympathy. Also Daenerys did it again. Again. Trust me we don't want to keep talking about this, but Daenerys did it again.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro/outro music.

The trailer can be seen on Youtube: https://youtu.be/V1TFrmJDjvo

Music credit: https://bit.ly/2DgUbJx and https://bit.ly/2CvhMoh.

free background music by https://www.fesliyanstudios.com

Sound effects: https://bit.ly/2T3eQGu, https://bit.ly/2APYGJq, https://bit.ly/2suYFWE, https://bit.ly/2ARO50x

A Clash of Kings George R.R. Martin

A Clash of Kings: Part Three

As promised we start this episode by nailing down the trailer for our new Eragon movie before talking about A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin. Dan shows off his negotiating skills and Luke roasts Jon Snow's package opening skills.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

A Clash of Kings George R.R. Martin

A Clash of Kings: Part Two

In this episode we spend the first 10 minutes brainstorming about the plotline for our Eragon movie, then discuss A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin. Luke laments the winter preparations being made in Westeros and Dan makes a theory about Craster's wives.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

A Clash of Kings George R.R. Martin

A Clash of Kings: Part One

Before talking about A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin we talk about the new Eragon book and pitch our idea for a new movie. Luke points out the overwhelming evidence for #FlatWesteros and Dan tries to convince Luke of his most recent theory.

We will be taking a week off for the holidays, look for our next episode to be in two weeks.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

A Clash of Kings George R.R. Martin

Mail Bag!

Luke and Dan take a one-episode hiatus from books, and take a stab at discussing other media. Luke gives his thoughts on the new Fantastic Beasts movie, and Dan talks about fantasy TV shows. Worried our style won't work on anything but books? That's probably fair.

Have something you want us to talk about? Tweet us @DCitaBC

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Mailbag

The Crimson Queen Part Three + Author Interview

The boys are back at it again. In a very anti-Immortal episode Luke roasts Demian, and Dan comes down very hard on Jan (again). We wrap up our discussion of The Crimson Queen by revealing the consequences of climate engineering. Wondering why this episode is twice as long? Alec Hutson, author of The Crimson Queen, tells us the secret to coming up with cool titles and answers many of our well thought out questions. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Fantasy Alec Hutson The Crimson Queen

The Crimson Queen Part Two: Chapters 13 - 26

Dan gets a little Marxist early on and comes down a little harsh on Jan. Luke's ridiculous "bird fireworks" comment from last episode is somehow vindicated. We also ponder the important questions. Thanks to VOLO for the intro/outro music.

Fantasy Alec Hutson The Crimson Queen

The Crimson Queen Part One: Chapters 1 - 12

It's a Thanksgiving miracle! Luke and Dan are back at it again: Luke planning a culture change seminar for Keilan's village, Dan convincing Luke sorcery is fantastic for one very specific reason. Also Luke makes a bold prediction involving Godzilla.

Fantasy Alec Hutson The Crimson Queen

The Name of the Wind Part Four: Chapters 72 - End

Dan ruins Christmas then brings up new evidence for his Ben-Denna theory. Luke points out that Kvothe probably wears a fedora, and we talk about our ratings for the Name of the Wind before announcing our next book.

Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Kingkiller Chronicle Fantasy Patrick Rothfuss

The Name of the Wind Part Three: Chapters 47-71

Luke and Dan talk about voting just in time to miss the election, then jump into the third section of The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. We roast Kvothe and Denna for about half the episode, then Dan comes up with arguably his best theory to date. Special thanks to VOLO for intro and outro music.

The Kingkiller Chronicle Fantasy Patrick Rothfuss

The Name of the Wind Part Two: Chapters 18-46

Luke and Dan throw a little shade on a Halloween tradition and attempt to answer the age old question: what is money? You won't believe which character is actually a certified sneaker head! Listen to find out! (Tryna go viral guys) Special thanks to VOLO for intro and outro music.

The Kingkiller Chronicle Fantasy Patrick Rothfuss

The Name of the Wind Part One: Chapters 1-17

In our first Kingkiller Chronicles episode we have a long conversation about Dungeons and Dragons before getting into the book. Dan calls Abenthy the Arcanist a dick and Luke gets scared by a Chandrian with bad hair. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Kingkiller Chronicle Fantasy Patrick Rothfuss

Hyperion Part 3: Chapter 5 - End

We wrap up the last episode covering Hyperion by Dan Simmons with discussions about the last two chapters and the book as a whole. Dan convinces Luke yet again to buy into one of his theories, and Luke endorses the Consul's crazy decision. Thanks to VOLO for our intro and outro music.

Sci-Fi Hyperion Dan Simmons

Hyperion Part 2: Chapters 3 and 4

In our second Hyperion episode Luke unveils a new idea for a fan appreciation event (Hint: it involves LeBron), and Dan leads a surprisingly serious discussion about Dan Simmons. We also develop several theories covering topics ranging from cyborgs to hipsters. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Sci-Fi Hyperion Dan Simmons

Hyperion Part 1: Chapters 1 and 2

Luke gives some details about his vacation and we jump into our first episode covering Hyperion. Dan shows off his impressive knowledge of math and physics while discussing artificial gravity, then we decide that Colonel Kassad probably just wants to be playing Call of Duty and telling yo mama jokes. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Sci-Fi Hyperion Dan Simmons

The Emperor's Soul

Dan complains about the lack of alien representation in Star Wars, then we discuss Brandon Sanderson's novella The Emperor's Soul. We have a spirited debate over the ethics of master painters and break ground on the invention of toilets. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Elantris Fantasy Brandon Sanderson The Emperor's Soul

Game of Thrones Part Four: Chapters 61 - End

Luke flip flops on his previous hot take about the T.V. show being better than this incredible book and introduces a new hot take about Catelyn chapters. Dan makes a brilliant Risk analogy and masterfully ties a bow on the #FlatWesteros and #WarriorTyrion theories. Also while Luke is stuffin his face with pizza pies in Italy, Dan works tirelessly to ensure their podcast gets out to their loyal fans. This one's for you. Music, with thanks, from VOLO.

Fantasy A Game of Thrones George R.R. Martin

Game of Thrones Part Three: Chapters 41 - 60

LeBron, excited to start this new collab. Get at us. We reveal the embarrassing truth Tywin Lannister doesn't want you to know, and try not to dunk too hard on Ned Stark. Thanks to VOLO for our intro and outro music.

Fantasy A Game of Thrones George R.R. Martin

Game of Thrones Part Two: Chapters 21 - 40

We discuss chapters 21 - 40 of A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin. Dan unveils a conspiracy theory about Tyrion, we further develop our flat Westeros theory, and we both complain about intramural sports. Thanks to VOLO for our intro and outro music.

Fantasy A Game of Thrones George R.R. Martin

Game of Thrones Part One: Chapters 1 - 20

We discuss the first 20 chapters of A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin. We unveil our flat Westeros theory, and Luke makes a hot take about Lord of the Rings. Think you can prove him wrong? Tweet us at @DCitaBC with your argument. Thanks again to VOLO for our intro and outro music.

Fantasy A Game of Thrones George R.R. Martin

Elantris Part Two: Chapter 57 - End

Elantris part 2 - we discuss the last section of Elantris from chapter 57 onward. Dan brings up a new theory, and Luke complains about hardcover books. Thanks to VOLO for the use of Mystic as our intro and outro music.

Elantris Fantasy Brandon Sanderson

Elantris Part One: Chapters 1 - 56

Welcome to Don't Call it a Book Club! In our first episode Luke makes a hot take about Game of Thrones and we break down the first 56 chapters of Elantris by Brandon Sanderson. Topics include Elantrian fight clubs, the magic system of Elantris, and several rants by Dan.

Thanks to VOLO for the use of Mystic as our intro and outro music.

Elantris Fantasy Brandon Sanderson

Intro episode

The intro episode to Don't Call it a Book Club, giving you a taste of our style. Not sophisticated enough for you? Oooh someone's an intellectual that reads fantasy novels for complex and nuanced discussion.

Introduction